I cannot believe I am finally posting my first blog!! Since I started college in 2013, I have enjoyed watching YouTube videos, vlogs and reading blogs. So, now three years later, I have decided to start my own blog! I am a twenty year old college student and part-time nursing assistant. School has consumed most of my life for years and recently I have been learning how to relax and find joy outside of academics. Through this blog I hope to document the new and exciting moments of my life as I explore myself. I have recently developed a fascination with fashion and beauty, discovering a creative side I thought I had lost in elementary school. I have gained confidence in traveling and am loving exploring nature and new places. I have found motivation to get dressed, clean my apartment and take care of my body.
These changes did not happen overnight but took time. As I mentioned previously, I have always succeeded in school. But, to do so, I focused all of my energy in my assignments. I would study for hours, days, weeks and still not feel confident in knowing the material. I have vivid memory of doing my homework and sobbing (as young as middle school) because I felt as if I had no energy and no motivation but my conscience would not let me stop. My brain felt as if it was being assaulted but I had a loving family, wonderful friends and was successful. Nothing made sense. It began to get too overwhelming and in high school I started distancing myself from everyone, pouring more time into my challenging class schedule. After still struggling to find happiness in college, I accepted the help of a counselor and was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and mild depression. When the sessions weren’t enough I began medication to clear my mind of the fog that had taken residence there for years. I still have bad days but I am finding myself happier than I have been in years. I am proud of myself and where I am going with my life. My family, boyfriend and dog (yes, my dog has helped me in SO many ways!) have been my biggest support through everything and I am so grateful for each and every one of them.
With all that aside, this blog will not focus on my anxiety and depression. I am realizing that I am much more than those two words and plan to focus on the positivity of my life. Since I have finally acquired a professional quality camera (Best Christmas gift ever from my boyfriend!) I feel prepared to take another leap in my life and start this lifestyle blog. I would love to take you along for my journey in self-discovery as I learn to love Leah.